Episode

1

2019-09-08

I think we might be going the wrong way

The votes are in and we’re heading west instead of east. Following the smell of hot pavement and BBQ. We’ll be riding a big arch from Humble to south Houston.

A day in the sun

It was a slow start. A few chores and people to chat to. We didn’t get underway until eleven. By that stage the mercury was already hitting 31 degrees C.

We travelled east, not interstate east but enough lanes to keep life short. Skirting the northern edge of George Bush International. We were meant to be heading east… so west it was. Such is the life of a Clueless traveller. The heat was building.

The museum

By chance we stumbled upon the ridiculous. ‘The national museum of funeral history’. We couldn’t resist. We burst through the door into the escape and the cool, only to stand behind a slow shuffling hoard of ageing pensioners being forcibly directed through the turnstiles into the exhibit. They were clearly concerned.

The exhibit was as magnificent and perfunctory as it was dark. It’s not everyday you see the wax work of a dead Pope, a presidential hearse and an exhibit on the inner workings of an industrial crematorium. All the while we watched the shuffling group of octogenarian becoming increasingly concerned with their own escape. The reality all too relevant to us.

Ribs

We too made our escape. Heading due south through the inferno of the ‘burbs to Burns BBQ. Oh the irony. We were famished. Horse ordered a couple of small mixed portions of all things smokey and good. We underestimated the portions and did battle. Finally surrendering to the grill. What a place, what fabulous people, serving and local.

We rejoined the road, that hard ashen grey concrete, and for all intents hotter than the very sun burning at our backs. The mercury climbed, and climbed again. It hit 37 before I collapsed onto the eastern boarder of the White Oak Bayou Greenway. I was exhausted and looking up. High, high in the clear blue I saw a vulture circling. I realised it was time to call it, before things got worse. Today’s ride was over.

We booked into the closest and cheapest of sweaty hotels we could find and made our flight from the caldron. We had only achieved half of what we thought we could. Our expectations of could, should, be re-examined.

We made the sweaty by five. Hmmmm, I think we will take turns on watch tonight. That Is, if I ever leave the Lei low…  now where is Horse… ?

Highlights

Tom Jones & Stereophonics - Mama told me not to come

The national museum of funeral history

Burns BBQ

Lei low bar

America’s largest collection of authentic, historical funeral service items. Full of caskets and coffins, hearses through history, plus the funerals of Presidents, Popes, celebrities and more while you witness the cultural heritage of the funeral service industry and its time-honored traditions.

It started in 1973 when Roy SR, started off his small joint selling BBQ to the Acres home community in Houston Texas. Now more than 40 years later Burns Original BBQ has steadily grown and still creates that great food out of the original building. The delicious scent of barbecue from woodsmoke pits still drift in the streets and passers- by can’t help themselves.

A mellow yellow local little tiki bar pairing imaginative, rum-filled cocktails within a vibrant Polynesian decor.

 

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